I think the time has come for me to sound off on all you children here on Tumblr, stealing MY culture. If you were born in the early 80s, or mid 80s, you know what I’m talking about.
Let’s get some shit really fucking straight - most of you here on Tumblr were born in the 90s, and don’t know a damn thing about half the stuff you’re reblogging, posting and stealing from other people. You’re just hitting the re-blog button and typing, “OMG!”
OG EM GEE what motherfucker? Like you know shit about what you’re talking about? Because you don’t. If you were born in the early to mid 90s, you were too young to remember anything of consequence that happened. I know this, because I can do fucking math.
A few of your biggest offenses…
What the fuck do you know about Super Nintendo or Sega Genesis? Bothwere released in 1991. If you’re 14, 15, 16, or 17 - you weren’t even fucking alive when it came out. If you’re 18-21, you were too young to really appreciate the improvement it meant over the original Nintendo.
On that note, most of you were too young to really appreciate the original Playstation OR N64. The Playstation came out in 1995, and the N64 came out in 1996 (late ‘96 at that). So even if you were born in the early 90s, you wouldn’t have been old enough to really understand it. By the time you were old enough, it was 2000, and the Playstation 2 was out.
The Yak-Bak. I’ve seen numerous references to it lately. Look 90s kids - it was a shitty recorder. Us 80s kids know. But it was OUR shitty recorder. Quit trying to steal our fucking toys.
Babe, Hook, Toy Story, Milo & Otis, The Secret of Nimh, The Sandlot, A Goofy Movie, Good Burger… those movies belong to 80s kids. They are not yours to co-opt. When you’re my age, you’ll look back and remember how silly Hannah Montana was - but until you’re my age, back the fuck off my shit.
The Spice Girls were something that girls of MY generation listened to. Your older sisters might have gotten down to Sporty Spice, but YOU did not.
Tomagotchi / Gigapets. That was something WE had. You aren’t old enough to remember girls walking around with like 10 of those motherfuckers on ONE keychain.
AMAZINGLY baggy jeans. My friends and I all had JNCO’s or Lee Pipes. You 80s kids don’t know a damn thing about that.
Along the lines of baggy jeans… back in the early 90s, we wore overalls. I see you all posting pictures of folks back in the early 90s with all this colorful, neon nonsense, but you forget OVERALLS. That shows you didn’t really live it. You don’t know what the fuck you’re reblogging. I used to wear my overalls over one shoulder, leaving one strap undone. Whatchu know ‘bout that?
The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. You kids watch reruns. I watched the original episodes. You laugh at how silly his clothes are. We actually wore that shit, just so you know.
I’ve noticed you only try to adopt the cool shit. None of you fuckers are adopting all the “Nu-Metal” that spun out of the 90s. If you’re gonna steal some of it, steal all of it. And while people my age will claim they never liked Korn, Slipknot, Limp Bizkit, etc… of course they did. We all did. I had Limp Bizkit’s shit in my CD player. I had a few Korn albums. C’mon… we all did.
Remember Magic cards? Y’all need to try stealing that shit.I still know some people that think it’s cool. PLEASE, PLEASE steal Magic. It’s interfering with the sex lives of some old friends of mine.
I haven’t seen you fuckers one-up us yet on school shootings. Us 80s kids OWN school shootings. It was OUR generation that shot up Columbine, and it was OUR generation that shot up Virginia Tech. Now that you’ve got Call of Duty, you don’t need to actually shoot people I guess…
LA Gear light-up shoes. That was something 80s kids had. You don’t know shit about it.
This is awesome.
If you subscribe to “fuckyeah1990s”, you weren’t really there.
Having been born in early 70s, I am apparently All-Knowing. Bow your just-out-of-diapers asses down TO ME!
Like any good Christmas song, it’ll be stuck in your head for a good few weeks after you listen to it.
Part of the profits will go to Shelter, the UK homelessness charity.
You’ll be helping to knock an incredibly annoying cunt out of the charts, who would be creating an abomination in allowing a Miley Cyrus song to become the Christmas no.1. OK, so the singles chart died a while ago, but there’s a line. And I don’t want it crossed.
so instead of DC I’m flying home first thing tomorrow and then to NJ with my sister and my mom on the 26th. bye bye New York, it was fantastic while it lasted. now to explain my inability to walk on my left foot to my mother, this should be fun.
So the internets are abuzz lately with talk of a newly-discovered Joy Division rehearsal tape floating around, featuring not one but five full-length takes on “In A Lonely Place” - the last song written by the band prior to Ian’s suicide, and closing with the verse beginning with “Hangman looks round as he waits / Cord stretches tight, then it breaks…”. In 1997 this song was released on the Heart and Soul box set, but ending just prior to the final verse (sensitivity reasons to his surviving family, perhaps?). So it would be great to finally hear the long-rumored full-length variant, alas the set has yet to surface publicly on the internets so we will just have to wait.