Lilly no cool with my whiskey-breath.
Ninja Cat mashup the best; hell the original gave me a gutbusting LOL http://bit.ly/b6FnXn
Work computer caught a virus yesterday; today’s workday felt 36 hours long.
Earlier today: coworker Kamakazeed by a beautiful butterfly; everyone survived.
Asshole honking horn repeatedly outside; am now very much regretting that I never bought a high-powered BB Gun :-(
In my next life, I will return as a never bought dildo.
RT @ConanOBrien: I’m in Chicago, the food capital of America, for one more night. Hang on, arteries, hang on!
RT @CrankyKaplan: SWELL ANOTHER FUCKING DAY ON THE PLANET.
RT @BorowitzReport: Just once I’d like to see a Congressman resign by saying, “I regret everything but the blow jobs. They were awesome.”
RT @FEARLeeVing: FEAR
Is it me or is there a noticeable uptick in dead bodies in cars in Chicago recently? #murder #dead #yikes
Rumors being whispered about an entire department on the hot seat; possibly talk of department being eliminated = Happy Monday!
RT @jennispinner: I am very sad about RJD. Ride that rainbow in the dark, holy diver.
RT @motodd: RIP Mr. Dio. ♫ http://blip.fm/~qi782
Last night I watched “Garden State” and I don’t care what anyone sez, I liked it, thought it a fine sad sweet movie. I FELT it at moments.
Retirement Party! Cake, coffee, Chairman made a speech, bigger crowd than usual…… retiree/guest of honor = No Show = Party Fail.
RT @moffs: I have totally become one of those people who just tweets about his cat and pornography.
RT @vanessajeanne: Some guy trying to be smooth and get a girl’s phone number while standing at the light on wabash/randolph, just had a …
RT @tomwaits: All the good in the world you can put inside a thimble.
Off to buy cakes!
RT @Gawker: War on Drugs Is a Failure, Says Guy in Charge of It http://gawker.com/5538597/
RT @EugeneMirman: Can’t tell if Glasgow has a prostitution problem or if people here take casual wear to an unreasonable degree.
Nearly all of Management meeting in next room. If sight holes were cut in the wall 4 snipers, it’d be just like East/West Berlin in the 60s!
singing “watching you watching meeee…”
Most of the songs on this #TheTingTings album make me wanna dance like Molly Ringwald in The Breakfast Club!
They danced down the streets like dingledodies, and I shambled after as I’ve...– Jack Kerouac (via nickdrake) (via fuckyeahthebeatgeneration)
BOLLOCKS! Just realized it’s Thursday, not Friday.
RT @VICEMAG: The Vice Interview with Glenn Danzig - http://bit.ly/bncHAb
From what I’ve heard, I am not impressed with Jay-Z, Kanye West, or Lady Gaga.
…and I will probably now be Twittercided or Twittershunted.
RT @tomwaits: Come down off the cross, we can use the wood.
RT @rilaws: Breaking: New York City picked up and moved to Scotland, apparently. #rainraingoaway
Hey @Amandapalmer ! via @gapersblock = In Transmission: Are you keen on Chicago’s ukulele scene? http://is.gd/c63Ud
RT @krucoff: Refresher: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stormtroopers_of_Death
RT @magicmolly: Molly-style statecraft: hard stares, flaring nostrils, the pantomimed sign for slitting a throat
YO, I GOT YOUR FUCKING “PROJECTOR” RIGHT HERE!
Here: use my lighter; it makes burning through preciously needed money so much faster coworkers! *flick flick flick* middle finger!
Why, I’d LUV 2 shop 4 a projector screen 2 replace the perfectly good 1 we have since Officer G is 2 lazy to set up the tripod YAY Wasting $
RT @VICE_VBStv: Vice Interview - Bret Easton Ellis sits down to discuss the sequel to Less Than Zero & dish some lit dirt http://ow.ly/1JGUi
RT @Awl: A Look Back At The Bloody History Of Slayer T-Shirts — http://www.theawl.com/?p=37623
It’s like we are never exactly talking about the same thing, but no one stops to clarify, they just keep babblin’ on & on, then “Okay? Good”
Just been asked to consider working a few hours a day in the Accounting department: BWAHAHAHA do they even know me? Hard Laughing Spittingly
Every time: Meetings w/ Upper Mgmt get me thinking I forgot half the English Language, never seem to understand what they r talking about!
RT @EugeneMirman: I wonder how similar Birmingham UK is to Birmingham AL? Has Mr. Young sang about her? Has ole Neil put her down? Does …
I am going to die alone
That last retweet was for @mikeheffron not that I think he’s a cockface, just giving him another on Brit elections by @crankykaplan
RT @CrankyKaplan: CAN’T EVEN BEGIN TO IMAGINE HOW THE BRIT ELECTION RESULTS WILL REDRAW THE WORLD MAP. MAYBE I’LL ASK SOME BRIT COCKFACE …
If R.O. and B.S. ask me if I ordered their Land O’ Lakes creamer again, I am going to buy gallons and give them both Scalding Creamer Enemas