RT @OfficialBraylon: Taylor swift is performing @ the NFL kickoff event o_O that’s sure to get me pumped for the season Lmao
"Landlord’s Title is and always shall be paramount to the title of Tenant" — suck it, bitches — "I AM LANDLORD" = the new "I AM SPARTA!"
#np #MC5 The Big Bang!
An actual phrase in Contracts that actually sounds lovely: “Section 23: Covenant of Quiet Enjoyment.”
2 energy drinks just kicking in: I am tweaking out and tripping balls. And the office smells like green mold. Oh Satan get thee behind me!
RT @Choire: I’m still mad about the end of “Lost,” just FYI.
#np (loudly overtop of aforementioned shitty music/Muzak) @TeaganandSara #SoJealous. Aaaaaaaahhhhh muuuch better!
ONCE MORE INTO THE BREACH (of damn Contract Project)! EAT DRINK AND BE MERRY BECAUSE TONIGHT WE WILL JUST DRINK!
#np shitty music on Muzak and shitty music on Biggie J.’s shitty CD player. Shittastic!
RT @AAirwaves: Woohoo! RT @EvanBenn: STL->LGA. Dude just proposed in AA TSA security line. (worried xray would reveal his surprise?) …
Don’t you wish you could email all the individual Taliban-ians and just say, “Dude. Stop being suck a dick.”
Oops, that last post was supposed to end with “…SUCH a dick” but I suppose it works just the same.
hee hee J-E-T-S! http://twitpic.com/vxd2p (via @nickmangold)
Back to the Contracts. The Mother. Fucking. Contracts.
#np Chemical Brothers — Push the Button
Ouch. Feels like Mr. Right Eyeball is pushing against my brain, attempting to pop self out of socket. Only had 3 beers last night WTF? #old
Given 2nd Contract Project “Critical!” on top of 1st Contract Project. Honestly a)never wanna see a contract again b) understand Goin Postal
RT @vanessajeanne: bk is in heat. Erin’s solution: “Can’t you just give her some whiskey and an issue of cat fancy or something :)”
It’d make me dance https://twitter.com/Undervault/status/22021908705
I would love to win all this #AFP stuff, love her! The link is http://bit.ly/AFPemail #AMANDAmail
Because I am a 12 yr old boy: It makes me giggle to look at the minimized IE tab and it says #TwitterHo
Yallreadyforthis?! bhmp bhmp bhmp bhmp HEY bhmp bhmp bhmp HEY bhmp bhmp bhmp HEY …… #TechnoTweet
RT @EugeneMirman: How about this compromise: we build a 14-story 9/11 memorial inside the mosque by ground zero?
And the world over, Aryan Brothers and Klansmen blush, saying “oops.” (via @Awl): http://tinyurl.com/23dtfzm
RT @baratunde: Hahahahahaha! “@nydailynews: DNA tests of Hitler relatives suggest he may have had Jewish & African relatives http://bit …
RT @pattonoswalt: In the future, everyone will be obscure for fifteen minutes.
This be a clever tweet(or I need mas coffee)RT @VICEMAG Nice to see the DRI guy is still able to find steady work. http://twitpic.com/2he8jz
RT @davidwain: GO @michaelianblack! http://tv.gawker.com/5619204/michael-ian-black-goes-after-a-racist-obama+hater-during-his-set
RT @ultragrrrl: CHICAGO!: I’m gonna be in you for a week starting Monday. Give me parties, shows and dj gigs!
Whoa never heard this, thought I better share case you hadn’t either: Patti Smith - Smells Like Teen Spirit http://t.co/99DAIP4 via @youtube
RT @pattonoswalt: Oh, before I forget…FUCK YOU, PAT BOONE, YOU GRINNING, HOLLOWED-OUT, CALLIOPE OF SUCK. #mosquecomment
I KNEW IT! *eats shroom* :-) RT @Gawker It’s Official: LSD, Special K, and Magic Mushrooms Are Now Good For You http://gawker.com/5618127/
Remember the #XFL and that player “#HeHateMe”? Man, those were some strange and terrifying times for America, no?
53 contracts entried data-wise; Rumor has it at 75 contracts I can officially call myself a Level One #ContractKiller Codename Double-O-Yo
=SUM(Tweet668:Tweet669) = Hell Yeah! [ey-yi-yi, I am bored of this chore]
This is Tweet number #666.
My Excel Data Entry Skillz be so good your Momma cries!
Anyone else seen the #KingofWesternAvenue? wanders between Touhy&Arthur #BurgerKing Crown, blue scrubs, tall thin black? Lookin 4 throne?
RT @pattonoswalt: Flight crew introduced themselves. @eddiepepitone asked, “Where’s the beer-loving fruit loop who goes down the slide?”
Finally saw #Contempt w/ #BridgetBardot last night. Someone, Please tell me, why the hell did she suddenly stop loving her husband?????????
P.S. #BridgetBardot was freaking HOTT!!!
RT @pattonoswalt: Just once, could they sync the fountain at The Americana to GG Allin’s “Die When You Die”?
Dumbfuckery Doctorate? RT @tnynewsdesk In what field does Ahmadinejad hold a Ph.D.? Answer in this week’s quiz! http://tny.com/b9ZlGJ
Contract Data Entry Bullshit Project Update: 33 down. Roughly 220 to go. PAAARTAAYY!
*sigh* feeling nostalgic for when life was oh so #DawsonsCreek simpler, innocent, and filmed in warmer colors
HAHAHAHAHAHA HA HA! RT @ultragrrrl Is Food4Less “cool” like Trader Joe’s? Who shops there?
RT @JoeMande: Fuck. You. RT @SenJohnMcCain: Last American combat troops leave Iraq. I think President George W. Bush deserves some credi …